A 85-year Harvard study found that our relationships are crucial for our well-being. How we relate to the world and those around us has a profound impact on our lives. The study uncovered that close relationships are more important than money, fame, social status, IQ and even genetics in helping people feel like they have lived a good life. 

How do you care for yourself, others and the world around you?

Relating is appreciating, caring for and feeling connected to others. But it begins with how you relate to yourself. Many of us who identify as caregivers or empaths find ourselves as givers of our time, energy and talents in order to support those around us. While this dynamic has its benefits, it can neglect the giver’s needs. 

We often talk to clients about how we energetically have a bucket and when we constantly pour out our energy, our bucket gets depleted. In order to refill the bucket, it takes inward focus on what we need to recharge. You can’t keep giving from an empty bucket. Those who try find themselves not giving their best and ultimately facing burnout. 

How you relate to yourself, telegraphs to the world, how you want to be treated. If you are constantly doing and giving for others, then it tells others not to value your needs as well. We are in charge of our own needs, so it ultimately comes down to how you are relating to yourself.

Once you feel like you have a good handle on caring for your needs, then you can care for and feel connected to others. Humans are social creatures who thrive off of connection. Good connection is necessary for our health. We can establish healthy connections with others via shared experiences, empathy, open communication, active listening and trust. 

While many of us feel like we care for others is being selfless, it can be a recipe for having our needs disregarded. Boundaries are an important and vital part of caring for others. Understanding what it is we can and are willing to do to support others is necessary to healthy relationships. Insisting on respect for those boundaries, both from others and ourselves, is how to continue supporting sustainable relationships. 

As we think about relating to create a more just and sustainable society, it is important we take time to understand how we are relating to ourselves first and then work on supporting others.